hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
