I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
