There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
