I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
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long story
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weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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