drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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