i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
COCAINE IS GR8
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
