You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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