Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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