So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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