absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Come see our sink grown plant.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
