Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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