i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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