Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
