Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
