This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
