I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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