Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
