It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
