dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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