your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
