There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
