This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
