No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
