I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I love having hate sex.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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