Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
