5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
