Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
do herpes really smell.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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