i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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