She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Randomize
