I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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