You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
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