She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
well you can't waste a boner
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
