She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
