I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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