Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
