Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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