Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
