How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
should my penis look like a turkey
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
