we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize