you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
