I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
