Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
It's shark week go big or go home
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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