she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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