Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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