Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
