Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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