why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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