one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
