Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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