Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
