I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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