I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
did i walk over a car last night?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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