i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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