found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize