I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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