Got a toothbrush?
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
