Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
