Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
