so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
