I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
