Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
