so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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