just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
