Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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